there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
