i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
