I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize