Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
