It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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