So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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