I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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