My sheets look like a crime scene.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The feeling are messing with the penis
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
