I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
