Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Randomize
