White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
