We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
