he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
