I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
