So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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