Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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