Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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