I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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