i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
