I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
