Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
