trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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