I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
