You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
