I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I will pee on everything he values.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize