I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
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Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
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Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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