Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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