Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
