saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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