he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
