Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize