she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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