yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We left an ass print on the piano.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I party with great urgency now.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
