1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
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Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
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You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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