Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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