STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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