omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
