So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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