Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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