Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
id be glad to
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
