TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Randomize
