You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
