please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
