I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
