I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
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I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
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We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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