And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
