Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
