ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
