He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
