Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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