"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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