I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
