Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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