His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Fuck me I smell like cheese
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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