I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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