i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
