dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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