i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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