so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
