the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
